My Love of Dreaming

If you read the previous two posts from my old blog, you will see a theme regarding roleplaying and my life.

I lost a seven-year-long job in 2006, and gained a super-crappy job in 2007. These events wreaked havoc on my inner voice. I sort of lost it. I was so involved with the real world, my insides had no room for the fantastic, and my creativity pretty much dried up.

Consequently, my taste for RPGs dissipated, and I could not focus on any of them for any length of time. I still tried to keep interest in them, mostly out of habit, but it never amounted to anything.

Recently, on Jeff's Gameblog, I ran across a discussion of Labyrinth Lord. Following that, I became a bit obsessed with the game, bought it, and ... actually ran it. It was a good gig.

While thinking of turning this one-shot into an actual campaign, I came across Castles & Crusades. I read about it, then read the quick-start rules, and determined that it was just what I was looking for -- a rules-light version of the first RPG I ever encountered, and the RPG that all my friends are most comfortable with.

I started thinking about a game world, and then talked to Ronn about his Baenrahl setting, and asked if he'd mind if I ran it. He gave the approval and I've been obsessing about it ever since.

Where am I going with all this?

Simple. I've got my game back. I've been bitten by the RPG bug again.

The other day I realized that I was creating worlds in my head, running through game statistics and rules, and, in short, dreaming.

It was like meeting an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. Sheer joy.

I found dreams again. And I love it.

So this blog is being re-created and re-dedicated to gaming. All my personal, life stuff will be on my family blog at parkspages.com. This one will focus on posts that involve dice.

Sweet.

Muttered and Depressed Ramblings

Originally posted on 5/26/08:

I've sort of taken the last few days off. I started my new job a couple of weeks ago and I've been worrying myself sick that I haven't spent enough time working it. But I kind of took the long weekend off. It hasn't really improved my outlook, though.

Essentially, the time I've spent hasn't been that productive, and all it's given me is time to realize that I have very little passion left.

This is a post about my long-lost friend, role-playing.

When I was younger, I looked at everything through the lens of creativity, mostly in the vein of how the real world could fuel the creation of fantasy worlds and games of the imagination. I remember art history in college, and how I applied the different architectures to different fantasy races. This feeling is long gone, with only the barest dregs left to remind me of what I've lost.

I occasionally pick up an RPG -- Star Trek, or more recently, Prince Valiant and Over the Edge -- and begin thinking about them and how cool it would be to play them again. But I glance through, and the rules don't inspire me, and the setting and it's potential don't inflame my spirit with interest or desire. I think, "I'd like to play or run this game," but the feeling's fleeting, and malaise takes over.

I realize I've lost this passion I used to have, and I miss it. I read some game blogs and think of the people, older than me, who are still enthralled by the hobby, and I can't quite see how they can be.

For the first time in my life, I'm rooted firmly in the real world. And it makes me sad.

Six Word Memoirs

Originally posted on 2/28/08:

So my wife pointed me to this NPR story: Six-Word Memoirs: Life Stories Distilled.

Here's the first paragraph:

Once asked to write a full story in six words, legend has it that novelist Ernest Hemingway responded: "For Sale: baby shoes, never worn."

So these editors asked readers "to write the story of their own lives in a single sentence," and then they wrote a book about it. Or at least with all these sentences in it. (I guess they made a buck off all their readers, but that's not what this post is about.)

In any case, go read the article and come back. I'll wait.

Okay. So then I tried to write my own. I came up with three.

The first one is:

Dreamed big, worked little, achieved less.

I don't think that's really me. I'm just down on this whole job/success thing.

Then I read one about faith, something I've had a rocky relationship with in the past. I came up with this one:

Lost faith, sought meaning, found life.

But that's not really me.

Finally, I came up with something that sums up how I've been feeling the last couple of years:

I miss my love of dreaming.

Kind of depressing, but there it is.

So, what's your six-word memoir?